#86 - Something about focus

Yesterday I was saying something about knowing that I'm not hitting my goals and not doing anything about it. It was partly because I found it hard to focus, specifically, I found it hard to prioritise the list of things I had to do. And as I felt overwhelmed, I did nothing.

Repeat the choice a couple times and a week's gone without moving the needle. The needle here being a job in data analysis.

I'm taking this courses related to datat analysis and statistics in the financial markets, and the only thing I'm learning is that fact that I know nothing. For the first two quizzes, I threw darts in the dark and scored the pass mark of 80%. For the third quiz, that didn't quite work.

Here's my conundrum. Time's running out on my goal on getting a job. I can very well, to use the same analogy, strain my eyes to throw darts in the dark—apply to jobs as much as possible, hoping that one would eventually click. But, I know I'd not be happy with that. I'd still feel like I could be doing much more.

And mind you, I know I'm broke. I know I'd just get even more strained as time goes on. Whether or not I study maths, time will pass.But studying maths and not applying feels like Im losing chances to get employed. Or studying maths and applying feels like I've tacked on even more stuff to my plate and so I'm doing less than I could possibly be doing if I just focus.

I don't want to just study. But I also don't want a job without studying. Christ, such boring conundrum to be in!

But you see, I'm getting exhausted.

✌️Deji